Welcome to our weekly blog, where we share valuable resources and insights specifically designed for athletes and their caregivers. Each week, we dive into important topics such as mental resilience, injury recovery, performance pressure, and overall well-being, providing practical tools and strategies to support athletes at every stage of their journey.
One of the toughest situations we face in sports is how to recover after making a mistake. No matter how much we prepare, mistakes still happen, so we need to figure out how to best manage our reaction to them. If we don’t learn to manage them effectively, it will prohibit us from getting into the flow state in sports which allows us for optimal performance. If we start beating ourselves up after making a mistake, all of that negativity aimed towards ourselves will hurt our confidence and limit our self-efficacy, which are two critical aspects of enjoyment and performance in sport.
One strategy we can use to bounce back from mistakes in-the-moment is the use of a cueing word or statement. Often the tendency after making a mistake is to feel a strong negative emotion like anger, frustration, or embarrassment, and think negatively about yourself and maybe even yell at yourself in your head saying things like “I can’t believe I did that,” or “I suck.” When you think or feel negatively about a mistake you made, that can lead to a negative behavioral reaction like making poor decisions in the game, having bad body language, or giving up. A cue statement is something you can say to yourself to refocus your concentration so that you can forget about what happened in the past and stay focused on the present. Cue words or statements should be brief, feel natural to you, and be positive or neutral. Examples of cue statements that you could try include “reset,” “next play,” “you got this,” or “rinse it.” Or come up with your own! It should feel personal to you and should have the ability to become instinctual after you have practiced it many times.
In addition to being able to bounce back from mistakes in-the-moment, we also need to know how to effectively reflect on mistakes after the game or competition and move forward from them. Athletes should always use mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow. Looking at mistakes in this way involves a mindset shift which can be difficult, but ultimately it is in your control to execute. To process mistakes after a game you can try journaling, watching film, talking with teammates or coaches, visualization, or meditative reflection to consider what went wrong and what to do differently the next time. It is critical that you process your mistakes in a non-judgmental way and completely disconnect the mistake from your own self-worth as a person. Never let your mistakes define you. If after reflecting on your mistake you still feel stuck, you can try asking yourself, “Will I remember this mistake in a week? A month? A year?” If not, then you may be able to give yourself permission to drop it.
We have to remember that mistakes happen in sports. We do not want to ignore or minimize the mistake that was made, but instead we want to acknowledge the mistake and accept that mistakes happen so that we can move forward. We simply cannot identify with our mistakes, as they will take over our cognitive-emotional state and affect our play. So, try using a cueing word in-the-moment and positive and constructive self-reflection after the game as a way to bounce back!
Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress. Sports offer athletes a unique environment in which they can develop resilience that they can use throughout their lives, inside and outside of the athletic arena. Key elements of resilience include:
Notice that the first key aspect of resilience requires that you experience something difficult or stressful. So, to develop into a more resilient athlete and human being you must be exposed to difficult situations, in and out of sport. It’s that idea of learning by doing – you cannot learn how to be more resilient until you have faced a situation where you are forced to figure out how to use that skill. Duke basketball coach Kara Lawson talks about the importance of handling hard better. What she is talking about here is building resilience. Athletes develop resilience over time when they are repeatedly exposed to adverse situations where they have to develop and use adaptive skills to bounce back. Some examples of stressful situations that require resilience in athletics include pressure to perform, high training loads, injuries, demands by coaches, conflicts with teammates, internal and external expectations, high stakes competitions, among many others.
You do not develop resilience alone, especially in sports. Building resilience is a dynamic process that reflects an interaction between the individual and their environment, meaning your ability to cope with stress and positively adapt to adversity is related to the system (e.g., team, institution, etc.) in which you are embedded as well as the individual psychological ups and downs we all experience over time as human beings. People who are resilient tend to possess skills and traits such as perseverance, trust in one’s instincts, the ability to tolerate negative emotions, flexibility in adapting to changing circumstances, and acceptance of oneself and one’s life situation. Being resilient requires a courageous and direct approach to difficult situations rather than avoiding them. Resilient athletes fully acknowledge the reality of stressful events, rather than denying their existence.
Next time you find yourself faced with a difficult situation see if you can look at it as an opportunity to build resilience. Challenge yourself to find ways to positively adapt to it rather than succumb to the devastating situation. See if you can find new ways of coping with stress that work for you and call upon others for help you when you need it. Resilience is not a fixed attribute. Resilience grows the more you are exposed to difficult situations and courageously find a way to bounce back.
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